I’m at the Old Bar, as I’ll call it, owing to the role it played in my previous residency in this town. Back then, it was a little bohemian bar where you could sit and smoke and block like a man. And I did, pretty much every Sunday night. Starting about 9PM I’d wander in from the cold, plop my laptop or a dog-eared notebook on the table and order a beer. The outcome was predictable, and can be seen oozing down the right-hand gutter of this site, itself a giant gutter.

The Old Bar has changed many times over the last twenty years, as I’ve previously mentioned. The first time I experienced its current incarnation was a bit of a disappointment. I had wandered in with a friend, and was pleasantly surprised to see that at least the old, familiar furniture remained. I have a certain attachment to some of the these tables, having done some of my best work while getting grievously overserved at them.

Taking our seats and waiting on the terrible service (also held over from the old days), my friend became quiet. Looking around nervously, he seemed to be inspecting the other clientele, a worried look starting to paint itself on his face.

“Does everybody look sick and sad to you?” he asked.

Understanding immediately what he was thinking, I looked around frantically until I found a current menu. Ripping it open, I scanned the contents urgently: cafe latte*, milk* chai, salad. I looked down for the asterisk meaning, and had my worst fears confirmed. Goddam bar had gone vegan!

I know, you’re asking yourself: Wut? A vegan bar in Germany?? Afraid so, lads. Despite all the best meat products of the world at their fingertips, these dorks had gone for the Globohomo line. They’ll be serving cricket burgers within 3 years, mark my words.

In the old days, this was a Finnish bar, so they always served shitty food. Who the fuck eats Finnish?

Welcome to the end of 2023, and the beginning of 2024. The outgoing year wasn’t exactly a masterpiece of a year for humanity, from what I gather, but personally I did alright.

After living in England for 16 nice and easy years, I’ve moved back to southern Germany. Mainly this is to be near my wife’s family. During the godforsaken lockdowns we were completely cut off from both our families, stuck on an island while assclowns like Boris and Merkel decided who we could see and when. God damn, it still pisses me off.

Now we can flout the rules with impunity, whether sneaking a cheeky Mother’s Day hug in while the cops are looking the other way. Or taking the dog for two walks in a day instead of the allotted one. Being a rebel is not what it used to be, let me tell you.

Moving back to Germany feels sort of like coming home. Not all the way home, to be sure, but probably closer to moving your way from Limbo back up to the Snow Level, or maybe even to the Hotel Level. It’s a big adjustment, but I don’t really feel it every day. I slipped back into most of my early-2000s habits quite easily. In fact, I’m writing this while sitting in the same pub, at the same table even, that I sat in while I wrote the majority of my posts up until 2007. The bar has changed many things, but the furniture is not one of them.

It was pretty easy going immigrating this time around, much easier than my first trip. I already speak the language, have a job, and am married to a German lady. This year I chatted in an easy manner with the immigration officials, got all my stamps, and had a proper visa within weeks of my arrival. I was here for ten years back in the day, eight of which were a tense Mexican standoff with their version of ICE, gruff bureaucrats looking for the slightest excuse to ship my ass back to America where I belong.

While 2023 might have been a catastrophic mess for most of humanity, I wouldn’t have noticed personally — that is, were I not addicted to social media shitposting and getting into political arguments with my parents after binge-drinking. That is my own personal Information Superhighway, one that is paved with bad habits and hurtful intent. So from that lofty perch, I gathered that humanity had something of a rough one.

Well I tell you something, Bucko: The solution to the 2016-2023 problem is not going to be 2024. Things are going to get worse before they get better. I miss the days when everybody just worried about things in America being batshit crazy. This time around, shit is hitting the fan all around Europe as well: France, Germany, even normally reliable Poland are all gearing up for a knockdown-drag out year. They don’t do it often, but when white people start getting all up in each other’s business shit can get crazy.

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Summary

I have played this game a little bit, getting through the first couple of missions and maybe spending a grand total of 3-4 hours. I have never "gotten into it" as they say, and generally don't have a high opinion of it.

I hope this will be like a couple of other recent attempts, though, where I start playing and them I'm all like, "oooh, now I get it.". Good examples would be Cyberpunk and Vampire Survivors.

Expectations

This game has lots of commentary and relevance to today's world, more so than I myself had 10 years ago, last time I played it. I expect my interest in the story to overpower my lack of interest in the general gameplay.

On the other hand, I really don't like hyper stealth games where I am constantly getting killed until I figure everything out.

Nevertheless, I am going to give it the college try, and this time intend to take notes and try to understand what is happening amongst the various characters and entities within the game.

I think I'll look around online for a bit of lore contexting, just to make sure I don't have to play the first game to understand all this BS.

Summary

I bought this game early in the 360 cycle, and bounced right off it. I've probably put 5 or 6 hours into it, which is a slow bounce. But bounce I do, and I've retried it at least twice.

It's vintage remedy, though, and seems to be almost as good as max payne. I like the story, and would love to see where it ends up. The mechanics are good but frustrating as hell when you lose.

Expectations

I think I'll get into the groove of the mechanics and enjoy it a bit more than before now that I have the goal to actually fihnish it. I look forward to learning more about the story. I might have to take notes this time around.

Versions

This is an Xbox 360 exclusive for the original version, I believe. Let me look that up real quick.

Actually, there's a 360 release, but looks like a re-release for PS4, PS5, Switch, Xbox One/Series. I believe the Windows/Steam release is the original version, while these others may be the remake.

I'm not really that interested in the remake, as the graphics / sound of the old version were fine for me. I'm a simple man.

The Steam version might be interesting to try out on the Steam Deck, I guess. Could be something. It costs £11.39 on its own, £15.49 with extras. Might be worth purchasing, as the graphics are better and there's the option to use a mouse, should I decide to do that. Plus, I already own it on Xbox, so where's the fun in not buying somethin.

https://steamcommunity.com/app/108710/discussions/0/666828126738685857/

Summary

I never played Disney's Aladdin back when it was current on the Genesis, but I did see the movie. I may have seen the game at the time, but I don't remember it. That was right after my tenure at Kaybee Toys ended, and without an employee discount it was unlikely to enter my possession.

I've tried this one out in emulation, and it's a rollicking good time. I am looking foward to exploring it.

Expectation

This is one of those platformers that current "retroid" indie games aspires to, from my short time trying it out. I expect to get into it, and enjoy it at least as much as the other Disney games of the time like Castle of Illusion. I want to enjoy this one, and if possible finish it.