Doing some random blogination I wound up letting myself be psychoanalyzed by somebody I've never even heard of.

1. Lounge::Lizard
2. Photograph::Match
3. Catacomb::Brinkeley (1)
4. Crucifix::Dammit (2)
5. Fire drill::Chinese
6. Tube::Top
7. Dropped::Acid
8. LTD::BTL
9. Panther::Apple
10. Formica::Rotary Cutting Tool

1: I don't want to know if I was thinking of Christy or David on that one... 2: 'Crucifix!' is a German exclamation kind of like 'dammit!'. I guess because it sounds like 'fick's!' (fuck it!)

I'm still shaking from the excitement of last night's EU Championship match. O! you could've cut the tension with a knife! Greece and Czech went back and forth, up and down, requiring just 105 minutes of game time to score ONE FREAKING GOAL!

Jeez, soccer sucks. I just don't get it. I mean, I understand the rules of the game. I'm not one of the Americans that sit in the crowd and say, 'man, he better tuck that ball in and run before he gets creamed out there!" It's just that it's mind-numbingly dull.

It may be the way that the Europeans play it. I can't stand watching grown men trying to fake injuries to draw fouls. It's OK to take a dive every now and then. Lord knows, in my college hockey days I drew my fair share of bullshit penalties, but you have to draw the line somewhere. In any soccer game, there will come a point where play is stopped by somebody laying on the ground, literally screaming in pain, holding their knee while their teammates beg the referee to Put an End to This Carnage! This usually happens after the guy gets the ball taken away from him. When they show the replay, though, it's obvious that there was no contact whatsoever. Still, this guy stays on the ground, screaming and crying, until a couple of trainers come out and take him to the sidelines. Once play starts again, he'll stand up, start jumping up and down, and be back in the game within 5 minutes. You can count on it.

Bob Baun wins the Stanley Cup on a broken foot, then drinks a martini

Football's just as manly as ice hockey, if not more so. Linesman in football break every finger on their hands at least twice a game. Sometimes the fingers will just fall off, laying there on the field until someone notices they lost it and sticks it back on. And I don't think anybody who saw it will ever forget the infamous Lawrence Taylor/Joe Theismann pile-up. Taylor, who weighs about 300 lbs., fell on Theismann's leg, snapping it like a twig. Halfway between his knee and his foot, Theissmann's leg was bent at a 90 degree angle, right there on Monday Night Football. It was a sight so gruesome, you can't even find pictures of it on the Internet. Taylor damn near tore the man's foot off, and didn't even get a foul. Manly!

Just compare this:

To this:

If I were a soccer referee, things would be a little different. Every time some whiny little Brazilian throws himself on the ground after a near-collision, holding his leg and howling in pain, he would be forced to watch that Theismann video 10 times. "If that happens," I would tell him, "you may cry, scream, or do whatever you want. But if you try and pull that fake injury shit with me again, you mincing little dandy, you'll be wearing a tutu on the field from that point on."

If you live in Atlanta, pick up a copy of Creative Loafing. They're presenting an interesting set of articles this week, discussing the idea of patriotism. I don't agree with any of the writers, but at least it's written by people who don't work for the magazine.

I usually find the 'Loaf ridiculously patronizing. They're regular contributors are the most bland, stereotypical, predictable, and narrow-minded writers you can imagine. And not just the liberals among them. They have a token conservative who looks like Alex Keaton's bastard love-child, but I haven't seen him there in a while.

They haven't been worth reading since Boortz dropped his column. You may not like him, but at least he's interesting.

There's been a lot of activity about a certain paranoid lefty's webpage, which is motivating people to go out and vote (though probably not in the way they wanted).

The 'whois' of the page is shielded behind some anonymous registration hocus-pocus, but one name stands prominently in the source code. Just in case anyone was curious, it seems that the belongs sculptor/'artist' Richard Serra. The "Stop Bush" Abu-Ghraib painting is most certainly one of his.

Oddly enough, Richard Serra's name is already on the White House's website. Illegal profiling of dissidents, you ask? Perhaps a McCarthyist blacklist of suspected thoughtcriminals, compiled by John AshKKKroft? Not quote. It's actually a transcript of a speech made by Laura Bush, praising the purchase of one of Richard Serra's sculptures to the (presumably State-funded) Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth.

Now, I'm not one to espouse kooky conspiracy theories, but this looks fishy to me. You've got a ridiculously overwrought political page, which is quickly exposed (perhaps a little too quickly) by the usual digital brownshirts, and which will certainly do nothing to pull the moderates towards the Left; it may, in fact, alienate them even more. And finally, after an attempted cover-up, the source of the sight has strong financial ties to the Bush family?

It's certainly not any worse than some of the other paranoid delusions that are floating around out there.

Update: Dang. I see that my sleuthing is substandard, as well as slow. The original source of all this had it figured out before I even got started. I smell a rat!

Another Update: This Guy seems to be on top of it. This should be fun to watch.