The Soundtrack to the Onset of Senility
Posted by Rube | 9 February, 2005
The Dirty Ashtray » Whoever Said Age is Only a Number and Only a State of Mind Can Kiss my Ass.:
I never realized I was old until one day, when I was laying down to go to sleep, I made this long sort of, 'arrrrrrrrrrrr' grunting sound. If I'd then added, "boy, my dogs are a-barkin'" at the end, I would've been my dad. That's when I noticed that pretty much no matter what I do, I make some sort of grunting sound to accompany it. When I sit down, when I stand up, when I reach over to turn on the nightstand-lamp.
And every action has its own distinct sound. I think two old men could always tell what each others doing, even while blind-folded. "Put down that remote, I'm listening to that!" "What remote?" "Don't you try to fool me, sonny, I recognize the reaching-over-to-the-coffee-table groan when I hears it!" I think it starts at 30. You stretch your back and, for the first time, it just doesn't feel right without that, "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh" as punctuation.
Well, that, and those weird ear-hairs that I've got going on.