That's what I'll be. Sitting in the server room, surrounded by untold generations of in-bred housecats, all playing little banjos and admiring my pouty lips. Crazy ol' Cat-Rube, wondering where all my friends have gone, why my children never call, and why, way back when, in aught-five, nobody wished me a happy System Administrator Appreciation Day.

Fuck you guys. I'm deleting all your mail.

As I was googling around, debating whether or not to install the copy of Office XP I've recently come into, in order to upgrade my slowly rotting-yet-beloved copy of Office 2000 Pro, I came across 1) enough evidence to deter me, and b) what has to be the best screenshot caption I've ever seen:

Some may have noticed that in the last 6 months, YouBitch.org has skyrocketed in popularity, owing to various influences viz bribery and dirty, dirty tricks.

It's grown so popular, in fact, that you'll find YouBitch.org in the Truth Laid Bear ecology sandwiched between ROFASix and "Test Page for Apache Installation".

How the hell do you come in behind a Test Page for Apache Installation?

Sometimes it's the little things that make it worthwhile. Today, for example, I spent 2 hours working on a network firewall whose brand name, Ben Hur, is eerily close to the Bavarian phrase, bin a hur, which means, roughly, I am a prostitute. This is why I giggle to myself when I think there's no one watching.

Also, I get to swear a lot a work, since none of these cretins speak English well enough to know what "oh you cocksucking piece of fucking shit" actually means, in the book sense.

In a related train of thought, I was in Kissing, Bavaria yesterday. Streams of consciousness being what they are, I immediately thought of Henry Kissinger, whose name means someone who comes from Kissing, and then I thought to myself, jeez, I haven't come from Kissing since high school, which then dead-ended into a search for a half-joke that cratered into a mixed-metaphore here at the usually-reliable youbitch.

Indeed, the little things can make an otherwise dreary, grey, and cloudy day all smily.

Oh, and there was a bug.

I never thought I'd see these words written by an adult:

why do I get the feeling you guys are yanking my chain? I guess I'll have to ask Sandy, she will be straight with me!

I would suggest that Lippy Livey prepare herself for amazing new levels of betrayal, shaming, and a chain-yanking most people only read about in Penthouse Forum. Sandy?!

I had all kindsa Sandy riffin' on Zonker links to pan out here, but sandy moved :-(

Sandy's new home is here. By the time Longhorn/Vista comes out, or Duke Nukem Forever, whichever comes first, I'll even update my sidebar template!

Hugs,
Rube