The newer Apple laptops, the MacBooks, have a built-in sudden motion sensor that will tell them if they've fallen off a table, for example. This allows them to park their hard drives before they hit the ground, which avoids some types of hard-drive damage.

But I'm not sure Apple was counting on people having so much fun with these things.

Exhibit A: The MacSabre

Using your Mac’s sudden motion sensor, this software turns your computer into a Jedi weapon almost worthy of taking on the real thing by making authentic lightsaber sound effects. It senses speed for the lightsaber movement sounds and acceleration for different levels of striking sounds.

Exhibit B: iAlertU

iAlertU is a car alarm system for your MacBook computer. iAlertU uses the built in motion sensor device to detect movement of your MacBook and triggers an audible and visual alarm. The alarm can also be triggered by keyboard and mouse/trackpad movement.

Exhibit C: Smackbook Pro

Turns out, the laptop has a built-in motion sensor. Nominally, it's there to protect the internal hard drive. The basic idea is this: If the accelerometer suddenly notices that the gravitational pull of earth is no longer present, the most likely explanation is that the laptop, sensor and all, is currently accelerating at 9.81 m/s² towards said earth. In that case, it will (wisely) try to turn the hard drive off in preparation for impact. It can, however, also be used in situations not involving lobbing the laptop across the room, fun though that may be.

Cool cool cool. Unfortunately, my Powerbook is old, unadorned with such wonderful gadgets.

In order to get my permanent visa to stay in Germany, I have to send my landlord the following form.

Owner's Confirmation of Sufficient Living Space for Foreign Renters/Subletters

Family Name, Name

House number and Floor of Apartment

To whom it may concern,

before a visa can be issued, the Ausländerbehörde (Foreigners' Office) must approve your renter's living arrangements.


Requirements for the quality of construction for the apartment are described in Article 3, Section 2 of the Wohnungaufsichtsgesetzes of July 24, 1974.

Therefore, we require that you answer the following questions.

Please assist your renter by accurately filling out the form. This will accelerate the processing of the renter's request for a residence visa. Thank you for your cooperation.

1. Has a leasing agreement beens signed with the foreigner? (yes/no)
2. The monthly rental fee, including housing costs, is €_
3. Is the foreigner's apartment self-contained? (yes/no)
4. Are there multiple families in the apartment? (yes/no) If yes, how many? _
5. How many and what type(s) of rooms are there in the foreigner's apartment? _
6. How man square meters are there in the apartment?
7. How many people live in the apartment?
⁃ Children under 6 Children over 6 Adults _
8. I have been informed that members of the foreigner's family, consisting of adults and children, will be moving into the apartment and have agreed to this.


Should the Foreigner's Office doubt the veracity of these statements, it reserves the right to visit and examine the premises.


Name of Foreigner


Address, Telephone
_

Of course, I'm sure it's all for my own protection. But I'm wondering how many landlords just say screw it, it's not worth having the government come in and make sure little mister Ausländer is getting enough fresh air and sunlight.

Here's a scan of the scary, rakishly yellow document.