HIM: This Bush, he's a crazed religious fundamentalist! He said that he was 'chosen by God' to lead the United States against the Arab horde!

ME: Well, I don't think he ever actually used the words 'Arab horde'

HIM: Yes, he rules America like a puritan. But you know what the 10 Commandments are?

ME: Well, most of them

HIM: Love your neighbor like yourself, for example. Or thou shalt not kill.

ME: Ok...

HIM: And he doesn't hold himself to these rules!

ME: So, what you're telling me, is that you hate Bush because he doesn't run America like a religious fundamentalist?

HIM: Exactly!

ME: ...

HIM: ...

ME: So, how 'bout that crazy tax system, huh?

HIM: What about it?

Today is D-1 Day. Tomorrow, Vaterstaat will decide whether or not he wants to disown me, sending me off to live with my Uncle Sam; who, for better or worse, could really give a fuck. Uncle Sam has never really shown me the love that Vaterstaat does. Oh, I know, a real loving, Ozzie and Harriet-style father wouldn't take three fourths of everything I earn, kick me out of my apartment, threaten to jail me, then deport me. But it's tough love, you know? He wants what's best for me, is all.

But then again, what is the best for me? Jump-starting is not the best way to get a car going, but sometimes it's the only way. Well, you can always roll-start it; but I heard that's bad for the catalytic converter, whatever that is. What would I do if they kicked me out of the country? First of all, I'll exchange my Euros for some sort of stable currency, like Chinese Yuan, something with some worth to it. Then, I'm going on an x-day bender, x being the number of days they give me to go on said bender. Then, I'll sell my snowboard, I guess. Not much use for that thing in Woodstock, Georgia I'll wager. Then I'll call ahead for a reservation at the Wade Green Waffle House for the week covering December 13-19; on second thought, just save that back table for me 24/7 until further notice, girls, the boy's got a grits-deficiency to take care of.

Where does one go from here? I've been on the road now for damn near seven years. You can't go home again. I tried once, and that was an abject failure. As scary as it is to lose everything, once it happens, you've got a lot of freedom. You've nothing to lose, and every option is open. All you need's a plan, and that will come in time.

Why couldn't this have happened before the Jawja Blogfest? At least then I could've gotten my ass kicked at half-rubber, only to exact my sweet, sweet revenge with a rough-and-tumble game of street hockey. Now there is a sport of kings.

Hopefully, I'm through now with waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, the smell of fear upon me and an uncontrollable desire to run to the computer and open up my email. No, I haven't cancelled my subscription to the Hollywood Newsletter, I've done something even more radical. It took a little hacking, but I've finally got James Seng's wonderful SCode working with MovableType 3.

I think.

I woke up this morning with 350 emails in my Inbox, each one a little congratulatory note to me for becoming the new worldwide marketing director of Phentamine, a substance I've never heard of . So, I figured I'd get some kind of comment spam control in there before it gets out of hand...er. Now, just what the hell is Phentamine, anyway?

So, with SCode in place, ecto running full speed, and half a bottle of Glenmorangie 18 calling my name, the blogging can begin again in earnest:

Best. Domain name. Ever.

Beer is indifference.
Whisky is indignance.

thom say:

After years of waiting nothing came
As your life flashed before your eyes
You realize

I'm a reasonable man
Get off, get off, get off my case
I'm a reasonable man
Get off my case
Get off my case

After years of waiting
After years of waiting nothing came
And you realize you're looking,
Looking in the wrong place

The fascination of failure: It is the thing that connects us to our childhood, and, through that, immortality. No one wants to die, least of all successfully.

Sleep tight.